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Sex and violence: why there are so many family dramas in Russia

Domestic violence in Russian families and the new law on it are still widely discussed. Indicatively tough measures cannot solve the problem. It is necessary to fight not only with the consequences, but also with the deep reasons. But to get to the bottom of them, serious systemic research is needed.

Football players spend millions on fees, and there is nothing to study the problems of gender relations

Scientific research sometimes radically breaks the usual stereotypes. Take sexual assault, for example. In 1969, Denmark was the first in the world to legalize pornography. In 1991, University of Copenhagen criminologist Berl Kutchinsky, who has studied the impact of pornography on society throughout his life, analyzed data for 22 years since the legalization of porn. The research results became a sensation. It turned out that the level of sexual aggression in the country has significantly decreased. The same thing happened in Sweden and West Germany, following the example of Denmark. Similar studies conducted in various countries in the Americas, Europe and Asia have confirmed the Danish scientist’s conclusions that the availability of pornography does not increase, but decreases the level of sexual violence. In Japan, after the legalization of pornography, the level of sexual violence has decreased three times!

As for domestic violence, the new Russian law treats it very narrowly and one-sidedly. The problem is actually much broader. After all, domestic violence affects not only spouses, but also children and parents. Although in different proportions, all sides suffer: not only women, but also men, not only children from strict parents, but also elderly parents from the cruelty of matured children. Many husbands are simply embarrassed to admit that their aggressive wives open their fists. Even so, according to official data from the US Department of Justice, for every 15 women beaten by their husbands, there are 8 men beaten by their wives. Women are 2.5 times more likely to use a knife as a tool of violence and 2 times more likely to injure men with a knife and heavy objects in the course of domestic quarrels.

Belarusian psychologist Roman Kryuchkov, who has been working with the topic of domestic violence for more than 10 years, believes that men more often use physical violence, while women prefer psycho-emotional violence, the consequences of which may be worse than beatings. According to the psychologist, modern realities dictate the need to create a correctional program for female aggressors. And Roman’s colleague, family psychologist Tatyana Shcherba, claims that often a woman-aggressor does not consider herself as such and justifies her behavior in every possible way.

Contemporary domestic violence reflects what has been aptly called the “war of the sexes.” In the course of this war, families are crumbling, and not only women are killed and suffered. Hated and unwanted husbands are often quietly removed. Lady Macbeth is still not translated with us. This theme is reflected in contemporary cinema. The Russian film, which told the story of how a medical wife, having changed pills, killed her husband and took possession of his money and apartment, even received an international award. The topic is quite relevant. A female medical examiner told me that a friend of hers asked for poison for a perfectly healthy but terribly annoying husband. The medic seemed to dissuade me. However, a year later, the husband still died. His wife gave him some herbs to drink. Alas, there are many similar stories.

The war of the sexes was supplemented by the war of generations. Also with the victims. Parents sometimes beat and even kill their children, and grown-up children bully and send their parents to the next world. There is a story when a Moscow schoolboy hired a hitman for his father and mother just to take possession of real estate. Many older nonhumans solve this problem quite successfully and with impunity.

Family crisis is one of the main reasons for the rise in domestic violence. In terms of its consequences, it is much more dangerous than any economic crisis. Indeed, at one time it was the crisis of the family that contributed to the collapse of the mighty Roman Empire. Nevertheless, the real threat is ignored by the authorities. Nowadays, thousands of scientists and hundreds of scientific centers are engaged in the study of economic shocks, and no one around the world is engaged in a systematic study of the crisis of the family. A family crisis is primarily a love crisis. How and why does mad love turn into mad hatred over time? And not only between spouses, but also between parents and children. How can you avoid this? What preventive measures are needed? How to keep love? Modern scientists penetrate the secrets of the microworld and distant space, study nanoparticles and black holes. But for some reason they stubbornly refuse to penetrate into the secrets of the psychology of love. Perhaps this is hindered by social stereotypes, which they are simply afraid to break.

For example, fidelity has always been considered the most important virtue of monogamous marriage. Treason is condemned in every possible way. It is she who is the main reason for divorce in modern marriage contracts. Especially famous stars of show business and cinema. The American television program, which told about the hunt for unfaithful spouses, was very popular. It was demonstrated in many countries of the world, including Russia. According to the advice of revelatory TV programs and women’s magazines, the unfaithful husband must certainly be driven in the neck. As a result of such propaganda of marital fidelity, more than half of women are ready to break up their families after learning about her husband’s betrayal. Although, according to studies, only 5 percent of men abandon their families because of their mistresses. It turns out that overly jealous wives destroy ten times more families than unfaithful husbands. Thus, the widespread propaganda of marital fidelity is actually propaganda for the destruction of the family and an incentive for domestic violence.

Many people declare a monogamous marriage, but in fact live in a polygamous one, that is, they swear allegiance, but in fact have not one, but several sexual partners. This lie tears people’s souls and leads to family tragedies.

“… In essence, in modern society, in modern social everyday life, a real monogamous marriage does not exist, it is a conditional lie and hypocrisy,” the famous Russian philosopher Nikolai Berdyaev wrote in his book On the Purpose of Man.

Since this area is not systematically and seriously studied anywhere, in modern society everything is left to chance. People themselves are looking for and sometimes find very extravagant ways to preserve the family and fight jealousy. For example, swing is becoming more widespread in the world and in Russia. It seems incredible, but the exchange of wives is beneficial enough to strengthen the family. Studies in the United States have shown that swingers almost never get divorced. The poll showed that the exchange of partners in the majority, even quite happy, families have noticeably improved relations. And among those who before the swing considered their marriage “unhappy” and were about to get divorced, 90 percent noted improvement! The studies also tested the overall “happiness level” of swingers compared to normal families. It turned out that they are twice as happy as average Americans.

In addition to the secrets of love, there are quite open reasons for family dramas. It is noteworthy that the breeding ground for domestic violence is not destroyed in our country, but only fertilized. Tell me, what do we have more on the main television channels: propaganda of love or propaganda of violence? The answer is obvious. On the most popular television channels, the series run in an endless stream, and the overwhelming majority are detectives with many corpses. There you can always find a hint on how to quietly remove a hateful spouse and take possession of his condition. Love in detective series is often present, but, as a rule, it only goes in the background in the form of an office romance. In addition to popular TV series, there are also popular television talk shows that very successfully entice viewers by digging in someone else’s dirty laundry. The whole country every evening enthusiastically watches family scandals and showdowns. It is unlikely that this stream of negativity makes people better and kinder. Quite the opposite. In fact, such shows also stimulate violence, not love. By the way, explicit love scenes are prohibited by law. This is considered pornography. At the same time, explicit scenes of violence and murder are not prohibited by law in our country. And they are unlikely to be banned. Because bloody TV shows and dirty talk shows provide high ratings and thus expensive advertising. A lot of money is made on it. And this, as we know, is sacred.

What then is to be done? What is possible. For example, start a systematic study of the family crisis. Create a research center and consolidate specialists dealing with this topic. Russia could become a pioneer in this important area. Indeed, in Europe now all attention is paid to gender equality, and not to the crisis of the family. In 2009, the European Institute for Gender Equality was established in Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, with an annual budget of seven million euros (!!!). It is curious that in the same 2009 in the neighboring Russian Kaliningrad, enthusiasts established the Institute of Sexual Culture and Family – ISKiS. Their proposals to create a systematic museum of the history of love, family and sexual culture, to create a corresponding department at the university and to publish a textbook did not find any support. In the end, the institute died quietly due to financial starvation. True, he still managed to publish a couple of useful books.

The greatest paradox of the wonderful Russian state is that we have millions for fantastic fees for football players and billions for corrupt officials, but for some reason there is no money in the country for research that is vital for every family and society as a whole. Therefore, we only have to rely on a new judicial club …

Why diets don’t always work

The choice of diets today is huge: carbohydrate, protein, ketone … By the keyword “diet” the search engine will give more than half a billion links. And people are ready to make many sacrifices, which sometimes leads to health problems. But do they work? The question remains open.

Almost every person who dreams of losing weight thinks about which diet is most effective.

Today, no one doubts that being overweight is not only not very beautiful, but also dangerous for health. In people with an increased body mass index, fat and carbohydrate metabolism is disturbed, the risk of developing many somatic diseases – metabolic syndrome, diabetes mellitus, cardiovascular pathologies, and oncological diseases – increases sharply.

Therefore, of course, it is better to get rid of excess body fat. And the first thing that usually comes to mind in this regard is strict dietary restrictions. In pursuit of a beautiful figure, people go to a variety of dietary restrictions: someone completely refuses fat, someone builds their diet on protein products, someone chooses a carbohydrate diet. Any power supply system with such restrictions could be harmful. Almost every one of them entails a deficiency of nutrients in the body.


But today there are ways to influence metabolic processes in the body. First of all, by changing dietary habits, dietary adjustments and regular physical activity. So, experts recommend eating often, but in small portions, in order to get rid of “age-related obesity”; limit the amount of fast carbohydrates and saturated fats (confectioners, industrial products, sausages, semi-finished products, sauces), eat more vegetables and fruits. It is helpful to devote at least 30 minutes a day to moderate physical activity. Do not forget that “diet” in translation from Greek means “lifestyle”. So proper nutrition and regular physical activity should be systemic, and not short-term.


Since the metabolism of overweight people is slowed down, dietary measures and exercise do not always give tangible results. In such cases, experts may recommend additional metabolic support. Dibikor® helps to improve metabolic processes in the liver, heart, other organs and tissues, has a positive effect on fat and carbohydrate metabolism, helps to normalize the level of cholesterol and blood sugar.

Congratulations from 2011: why did Match TV replace the hockey match

Hurray, the first “gold” -2020 is ours! You saw?! No, have you seen ?! How our youth hockey team dealt with these vaunted Canadian professionals … Well, even if not with professionals, even with the same 19-year-old boys, but we made them! You saw this miracle, how, after two periods, they burned hopelessly 0: 3, and in the third, the guys got together and threw 5 unanswered goals. Heroes! Eagles! Knights! This is all for you, Russia, Motherland, the guys tried for you, dying on the ice, unprecedentedly fighting a historical rival, for you. And here it is, victory!

It's all hockey, or ...

There was already a wave of congratulations, social networks were choking with pride and pleasure, and suddenly … just like in Hottabych: “The entire Zubilo team suddenly fell ill with measles”; or as in “Hello, I’m your aunt!”: “The marriage license is invalid because it is a fake aunt!” (Oh, and I’ve seen enough of old Soviet films during the New Year!)….

Yes, the music did not last long. It turned out that the Match TV channel, which up to the quarterfinals and broadcast all the games of our national team of the youth World Cup 2020 in Czech Ostrava, presented a surprise to the final and at the very moment when our guys were fighting the Canadians in real time, here and now , featured the coveted Buffalo hockey 2011 with the same name. Yes, and then in the decisive match ours clashed with the Canadians; the only thing is that 9 long years have passed since then, and of the real characters on the site (or rather, overboard) there was only the head coach of Russia Valery Bragin. Everything else turned out exactly the opposite, because that unforgettable and now such a distant victory was the last for our youth team. Since then, we have been constantly in the prize-winners, but we have not taken the first place.

Now, attention, the question is: why did Match TV go for such a “forgery”? It’s very simple: as always, Channel One was in a hurry. Seeing that the Russian national team was only two steps away from the gold, he bought the rights to broadcast the semifinals (superbeat over the most powerful Swedes 5: 4 in extra time) and the final from the Match. And he did everything according to the law, by mutual agreement that has been in force for many years. Any questions?

“Match” did nothing criminal, it is just a cunning and calculated marketing ploy. Guys, everyone is hockey! Well, those who cannot distinguish one generation from another, do not see the difference between the European ice rink and the narrowed “box” in America, do not understand that for 9 years of his difficult but happy coaching life, Valery Bragin simply physically could not stay so young and fresh … as Andrey Arshavin said on a completely different occasion: “Your expectations are your problems.”

Come on, neophyte fans, in general, random people in sports, but the former footballer of Moscow Lokomotiv Dmitry Tarasov also sent our guys congratulations for 2011. However, Dmitry is a kind of person, let’s put it mildly. Because only a peculiar person could put on a T-shirt with our president on the belly, showing it to everyone, and only a peculiar person could marry Olga Buzova, albeit temporarily. Well, what if it’s love?

So, “Match TV” is five for creativity, the First – for having sensed the conjuncture in time. And those who succumbed to the provocation … You just need to root for our people wisely, professionally. I don’t know about you, but I have a tradition: every year on December 31st (and also a week before and after) I watch the youth world ice hockey championship, so I never buy such jokes. Now, if only five minutes before the New Year were shown us Vladimir Putin’s congratulations to the Russian people-2011, then … However, then no one would notice the substitution at all.

And now, quite seriously. “We have wonderful youth. One might say heroic. I watch TV every day and I assure you that I know our youth very well ”. So said “Basilashvili’s mother” in the film “Courier”. You know, in relation to the World Cup in Ostrava, to this “silver” – I agree with her. As the guys commented, gave interviews in the flash zone, as they explained, argued their thoughts. What a Russian language they have! And how they lived with hockey! And how they played! The same whirlwind, impetuous, Soviet hockey, which we missed so much. How they passed in one touch, how they walked in a stroke – a feast for the eyes. Yes, we didn’t manage the ending, we couldn’t stand it, we missed the victory that was already fluttering in our hands … Sometimes it’s hockey. All hockey! Thanks for the game.