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Television in the era of coronavirus: when everyone is banned, Swan Lake will come

No extras, no spectators, no people – empty. Television in its own right is what the coronavirus is.

Moment of Truth or Perversion


But they – cameramen, sound technicians, directors, presenters – still go to work. Only old men go into battle. Everything for you, practically sacrificing yourself. Maybe not a feat, but there is something heroic in it.

Poor Urgant, well done Urgant! With his last strength, sadness, worrying, practically crying, he jokes about the coronavirus. Laughter through tears is our way. In the seats of the audience, his film crew, about 20 people, is sitting and applauding with all their might, after having thoroughly washed their hands. Instead of two guests, now there is one – such is the circumcision. Sad, girls, but uplifting.

Channel “Match TV” precipitated. What to show? Even when they gave Inter – Juventus without spectators – this is such a perversion! They canceled everything that people were alive with: football, basketball … It’s not possible to get together in the studio for more than three, instead of living emotions – “canned food”, programs of past years. All went to the front.

But the moment of truth has come in political talk shows. Previously, extras for a small share (300–500 rubles) personified the simple Russian people. Who, on the whistle, on the wave of the hand, on the snap of a finger, either clapped like a madman, greeted the successful phrase “ours”, then booed, hooted, and booed against “not ours.” A people is a people in Africa, especially when it turns into a herd. But now the shepherds are left alone, and this is honest. It turned out that they did not need extras at all, and without it they firmly fulfill their duty.

Yes, they start with the coronavirus, but then they move gently and very quickly to Ukraine. No plague will replace Ukraine for us. They are being measured with coronaviruses, who have more … made to fight the epidemic. Against the background of death, our patriotic propagandists are yelling at the screen: “And we have already checked 100 thousand, and you? And your metro was closed, but ours was not closed! And you have a Zelensky fool … “This is a stronger spectacle than” Evening Urgant “.

But such stars must be protected. The time will come when they will still be banned from going to work. And then on TV will come one continuous “Swan Lake”. Or films about Lenin – we remember how it was. Mourning. Amen.

It’s Magomayev!

Why are you so pounced on “Magomayev”, you, all dissatisfied high-brow critics who consider themselves the intelligentsia in the fifth generation! Everywhere looking for meaning, talent, art … I’m also looking, but I understand that the series is a completely different genre. It can be bad, good, Indian – different. There is no need to look for a black cat in a dark room, especially if it is not there.

Photo: Still from video

You are outraged that Tamara Sinyavskaya took part in the selection of actors for the main roles, she herself pointed to Milos Bikovich: “Here he will be Muslim!” What do you have against Bikovich?

Say that everyone is there in ceremonial artistic costumes, that the images are stilted, lifeless, that this is a “showcase movie”, that this is a doll and not Magomayev? So you were waiting for “Hamlet”? ..

This series has a different purpose. In fact, Bikovich is very good: how did he in one fell swoop turn from a “slave” to Magomayev? Perfectly laid accurate make-up, wonderfully found timbre, intonation – and here’s a very young Muslim, who just arrived from his native Baku to Moscow. Gait, habits – all Magomayev.

Yes, he is so noble, modest, correct here. But he was! Yes, there is not just a love triangle – a quadrangle, a square, and all such worthy gentlemen and gentlemen. But it also happens. Or let it be. Yes, there must, of course, be gray KGB officers, stupid workers of the Central Committee, suppressing personality, talent, always watching Muslim, taking care of him. Yes, stereotyped, schematic, but throw a stone at me if it wasn’t.

It is important that Tamara Ilyinichna liked it. Yes, she chose for the role of herself Irina Antonenko, a fabulously beautiful girl. But can anyone be more beautiful than Sinyavskaya herself?

And most importantly – the songs of Magomayev in his live performance. Here they are given almost everything – from “The Queen of Beauty” to “The New Bremen Town Musicians”. And what a pleasure it is to hear them again.

So do not grind your teeth with anger, malice, but rather sit comfortably in a chair in our difficult time and look with a light heart. It’s Magomayev!

You never dreamed

I am impressed. I watched Irina Shikhman’s film “The Controversial Profession” on YouTube. This is a scrapping of templates. The critic is shocked.

Photo: Still from video

A film about Russian porn actresses working in Budapest. Well, yes, “Splin” sings: “The best porn in Budapest.” God, what smart girls! How thoughtful, how happy! Life is everywhere.

We are used to Sonechka Marmeladova, a sinner and a saint. How unhappy she is, we feel so sorry for her … We are accustomed to the fallen women from Kuprin’s Yama. That’s where the hopelessness is.

Well, first of all, don’t confuse porn with prostitution – that’s what we’re told in this movie. Porn is a business turning into art. They have their own Oscars, their own porn stars. They have a dream come true.

The girls say so: this is our talent. There is a creative talent, a criminal one, and they have this one. Each has its own destiny, yes, not easy. But the dream is one for all. They got what they wanted. They try to do their job well and still get pleasure from it, because sex is sheer pleasure, isn’t it ?! And also good money and an endless journey. They say that this is happiness.

Moral: all professions are important, choose your taste. Sounds ambiguous. But here one of the girls in some restaurant meets with classmates. An ex-girlfriend, a mother of two, is sitting next to her, probably a faithful wife. All so preoccupied, gloomy, notorious. Boys of the same age are generally Dodiks, teenagers from the Tubertian period. And only she, a woman, pleasant in every way, a porn actress, so beautiful, so confident, sits at the head of the table and looks at everyone with undisguised condescension.

And then I thought: what if I change my profession and go for happiness in porn ?! It’s too late, no longer worth it. Again it sounds ambiguous.

No, you still have to remain a porn critic. Because what I am writing about – about political propaganda programs on our TV – is such pornography! And there are such porn actors and actresses involved – you girls never dreamed of.

The fall of the residual knowledge of Russian schoolchildren in the pandemic has been measured

The Russian authorities are summing up the results of testing the knowledge that has stuck in the heads of schoolchildren since the last academic year, noticeably spoiled by the distant finale. The results of the All-Russian verification works, as we found out, dropped by 10-15%, which, however, is better than expected. But the results of international studies PISA, although they will be announced later, are expected to be at least no worse than the previous ones.

Actually, it didn’t hurt to test the knowledge of schoolchildren this fall, to call a spade a spade.

Everyone who could – experts, teachers, and parents – spoke out against the All-Russian verification work – CDF, postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic from last spring to the beginning of the new school year. It probably could not be otherwise, because due to the unpreparedness of our education system for the transition to online mode, almost the entire 4th quarter of the 2019-2020 academic year was wasted for students. And who wants to fall under the distribution, as soon as the VLOOKUP results clearly reflect this? Of course, no one! Here schools and fought off checks to the last.

The PISA research has its own problems. Due to the lockdowns of Russian schools that began in October, the participation of our students in the tests turned out to be a serious question. But still they made it. And international studies, as Ilya Denisenko, deputy director of the Federal Institute for Education Quality Assessment, specified, as planned, 39260 students from 1.4 thousand schools in 14 regions of our country passed through. (All 85 Russian territories will pass through this test by 2024).

The last participants in the PISA research, as the head of Rosobrnadzor Anzor Muzaev specified, wrote their works only a few days ago, so the general results will not be officially announced soon. But the results of the VPR are already known. And, although the data on the results achieved by specific regions are strictly classified, so as not to provoke massive manipulations and falsifications of a number of high places in the overall rankings, the overall result is clear: the current results are lower than last year.

However, there are objective reasons for this, assured MK Muzaev.

– Usually VLOOKUP is written in April, at the peak of training in the current academic year. But now, for well-known reasons, VLOOKUP has been postponed to autumn. And writing a work for the last academic year is actually a test of not current, but residual knowledge, which is a completely different matter. Therefore, many feared that the results would be disastrous. And they turned out to be unexpectedly good!

How it looks in practice, “MK” explained the director of the Federal Institute for Education Quality Assessment Sergei Stanchenko.

– When checking residual knowledge, the decrease is about 10-15%. It is within these limits that we are. But the main point of VLOOKUP was for schools to diagnose gaps and not rush to study new topics until they mastered the previous “blind spots” and “black holes”. In this regard, the Ministry of Education is already preparing recommendations for adjusting school curricula. It is now completely clear that such an adjustment is necessary.

The checks, in fact, were carried out in order to “determine what decisions need to be made in the near future regarding the postcoid period,” said Muzaev. “In addition, they will help to understand how the 4th quarter affected the students, and what defects are possible.”

REFERENCE “MK”. In 2020, more than 7 million students from 37 thousand schools took part in the all-Russian test works. The total number of VLF participants has increased compared to last year.

Preliminary data indicate a slight decrease in CDF results this year compared to last. Problems also remain with the objectivity of conducting CDS in some schools, although the total number of such schools is decreasing.

Rosobrnadzor promises to publish the list of schools with signs of bias in the conduct of CDR by the end of this year. Well, “we will help schools that have shown low CDF results. This year, we launched the 500 project to support weak schools. Next year, a significant expansion of this project is planned, up to a third of schools from the list of schools with low results in each region will take part in it, ”said Sergei Stanchenko.

“Posner was left alone, like a poplar on Plyushchikha”

He was left all alone – like a poplar on Plyushchikha. Like a man from an ancient parable who asked for the happiness of immortality. “Well, you will be immortal, but your closest people will leave, and you will live, live, live … Is this happiness?” He is “the oldest lady present here” – Vladimir Vladimirovich Pozner.

The last Hero

Lonely Posner

He started on Soviet TV, early perestroika, having come from Inovation, and conquered everyone. Such an accent, such movement around the studio, such a Donahue! No one remembers who he started with anymore. But then, after the collapse of the USSR, Posner was, Posner is, Posner will eat. Shooting in America is a separate song, we will not talk about them. We are about the Motherland, son. Here are those who worked on TV with Pozner in the 90s and 2000s, and who are no longer there and will never be: Leonid Parfenov, Svetlana Sorokina, Vladimir Molchanov, Evgeny Kiselev, Alexander Nevzorov, Vladislav Listyev, Alexander Lyubimov, Alexander Politkovsky, Dmitry Zakharov, Tamara Maksimova, Sergey Bodrov, Marianna Maksimovskaya, Olga Romanova, Lev Novozhenov, Andrei Loshak, Katerina Gordeeva, Boris Berman, Ildar Zhandarev, Roman Super … Bodrov, bright memory. The rest are well.

Over the past 20 years, television has consistently kicked out iconic people, bright, thinking, non-standard. People of action, talented, very talented. The current gray, faceless, brainless TV turned out to be unnecessary, that is, absolutely. And only our Vladimir Vladimirovich … One is like a finger.

This is not a reproach, this is gratitude. He alone is the keeper of traditions, like that wise owl from “What? Where? When?”. He alone, aksakal, a long-liver, leaves television a chance for salvation, for a meaning that only he has left, like that famous fairy-tale character with a face and a needle.

How did Posner come to this life? He skillfully passed between the streams, between two fires. Wise, repentant, plucked, but undefeated. Nearby, on the same minefield, his more careless desperate comrades-in-arms were “shot” one at a time, and he moved on and no bullet took him. Posner is still more alive than all living things.

In the program “Big Difference”, which is no longer on his First One, this parody came out on Posner: he talks with a guest in the studio with his unique New York accent, suddenly the interlocutor, getting hot, feeling the presenter’s trust, begins to say something sharp , on the spite of the day and Vladimir Vladimirovich right there: “Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah!” They all about Posner and about themselves understand and can laugh at themselves. Well done! And Posner understands everything about himself.

He was left all alone, no one was around. Late Monday night only from him on TV and you can hear the reasonable, kind, eternal. The whole channel “Culture” does not count, because only 1% of the sane population watches it. Oh, this population!

Television has long been following the viewer’s lead, or so it says, makes excuses, moistens the crusts, the babbling of the hunchback. At the same time, smart, well-read, sophisticated TV people in their hearts despise the fool-like public, for the sake of which they have to lower and lower the bar. His Majesty the people, the electorate, the cattle deign to have fun, and we only satisfy his lowered needs. We are people’s television, flesh of flesh, otherwise we will burn out. Already burned out.

Over the past 20 years, TV viewing ratings have fallen by half. Television is afraid of itself, of the soul of its beautiful impulses, and non-stop falls down. True stars, talents are not needed, only “sex” for the poor and propaganda is what remains of television. Once wonderful journalists Vladimir Soloviev and Dmitry Kiselev had to change their shoes on the fly, swear allegiance to the authorities and the new TV and only stay afloat. What happened to the others? They drowned.

And only Vladimir Pozner, alone, completely alone. It can already be listed in the Red Book as a rare remaining surviving copy of a television mammoth. Or put it in the Cabinet of Curiosities and show it for money: “Look, children, there is a unique TV presenter here, there are no such people in nature anymore, everyone has died out. He is the last hero. “

“Sobchak case” named after Vladimir Putin

Or maybe Ksenia was introduced to the First, so that she showed this film? God be with him, with this “doc-tok”, with the Khachaturian sisters, with these princesses. The Sobchak Case is a stronger piece than Goethe’s Faust.


There was no discussion, no “Urgant” later, only “The Sobchak Case”. Two hours of clean time, outside the rules, schedules and television laws. Because the Sobchak Case is sacred.

What can a daughter say about her father? Even such a daughter, just such a daughter. Only the best. And he will defend him to the last, no matter what they say. And maybe create your own myth. Has the right to.

I personally watched and reveled in the chronicle of the time. A wonderful, free, fabulous time of restructuring. How many hopes were there! The story is about how a simple professor, thanks to a crazy turn of events, first became a people’s deputy, the most popular person in the country, then the most influential mayor of the newly-minted St. Petersburg, and some saw him as the future president … Then a defeat in the elections, compromising evidence, a criminal case, pre-infarction … A mind-blowing escape to Paris, a miraculous escape and return practically on a white horse. And at the end, death, unexpected, unforeseen, incomprehensible.

Life and fate, what else can you say. And the remaining questions: “Was there a boy?”, “Did Sobchak stand the test of power or not?”

Questions, but not the main ones. Because in this film there is another hero who actually became the main character. And for which this film was made.

The one who did not betray, did not turn away, and after the defeat of Sobchak immediately resigned. The one who, already in Moscow in a new position, organized the rescue of Sobchak, all this conspiracy, secret removal of him. The one who later returned him to Russia is no longer subject to jurisdiction. Yes, it was Vladimir Putin. Precisely and only he.

Of course, Ksenia did not try to show it this way, directly, but we understood everything. A very useful movie.

“Today you will die, tomorrow they will say“ poet ”. Today they will show a film, tomorrow they will say “PR”. That’s what we say.

Poet and TV

Now that you have not seen, that you are not looking. You just shout that TV is shit, neither mind nor heart, and you don’t even try to turn on button number 6. So they sent “Culture” to the sludge, to the bottom, below the plinth.


But if you turn it on … Here is the Glass Bead Game with Igor Volgin. It’s not Volgin, and not the invited poet Yevgeny Reina, and not Bykov, whatever you think of him, and not the beautiful Natalya Ivanova … Pasternak is about him. They talked about his poems, about his lyrics. They read these poems like that, reveling, falling in love again and again … As if they stroked Pasternak on the head: dear, dear. Early, late, “Zhivagov”, any. It was as if he, Boris Leonidovich, sat down somewhere nearby on the edge, listening … So it seemed, this is how he appeared to us thanks to all those present – friend, comrade and brother Pasternak.

And Sergei Shargunov in the “Open Book” program spoke about the poet Mariengof, a friend of Yesenin. And as a very young philologist Oleg Demidov spoke about him! Again the effect of presence, here and now, again 3D, interactive, like a poet at the other end of the wire.

Yes, it is for the soul, yes, for the mind. On the very “Culture”, which almost no one needs.

“Posner must be protected – he is at risk”

“Putin must be protected,” Dmitry Kiselev said in his last final program. No comment.

Remote is the only salvation

But I would also say about another GDP. It also needs to be protected.

Television is a matter of young people, this is understandable, but our Vladimir Vladimirovich will turn 86 on April 1. Yes, he is at risk. However, like all of us.

Pozner needs to work remotely, from home, from his beautiful apartment on Skype. Why not. Take care of Posner!

However, the remote was not born now, not today. For example, for two years now the wonderful presenters Boris Berman and Ildar Zhandarev have been working at a distance from us. They have gone so far that they can no longer be seen or heard. B. and J. are very progressive presenters. They knew everything, foresaw everything. But, perhaps, they got so carried away, overdid it with these movements in space, that they simply disappeared from the horizon.

In fact, it is necessary to protect both Putin and Posner, and each other. The time is now. The remote is the only salvation. If only souls and hearts do not move away from each other. It sounds pretentious, but for sure.

Past Life Television

“Vote. Children”. Not in this life. This is from some other Russia of the future (but in fact the past), which no longer exists. Children’s “Voice” is a myth, a phantom.

Photo: Still from video

Beautiful children sing, and how they sing! There are spectators in the stands, they so support every little person. You can feel it very much.

Does nothing surprise you? Spectators who no longer exist. Soon we will generally get out of the habit of seeing them on the screen, hearing, feeling their presence. Who are they, the audience?

Not in this life. In that last one, everything was so beautiful, bright – at its best, programs. So modern, graceful, ironic. As if this is not antediluvian Russia, but very advanced, even pro-Western. Russia, where there is joy and happiness and extraordinary technical equipment. There is no such Russia anymore, forget it.

We are shown what was shot quite recently, in advance. Blind selections were filmed at that prosperous time, of which now only the pain of memories remains. Yes, if you turned on the TV and saw the audience in the studio – do not believe your eyes. All this was, was and passed.

The illusion remains, as if we are still there. As if they hadn’t fallen into this damn coronavirus, this quarantine and the death that had already begun around. But it is necessary, it is necessary to plunge into the very recent past, in order to at least take strength from there. Where else?

We must look at Nagiyev and admire him. I caught myself thinking: I always wait for the retired child to run back to Dima. For me, like that child, for some reason it is very important what he says at the end, goodbye. It’s like Posner’s goodbye.

Nagiyev is a very good psychologist. After all, according to Stirlitz, the last word is remembered. And he speaks this last word so tenderly, tenderly, as if, always leaving hope, chance. Literally in one phrase.

And you also have to admire Polina Gagarina. Do you disagree, wrinkled your noses? I also did this when she sat on the jury for the first time, right after Pelagia. Yes, then the comparison was obviously not in favor of Polina # 2. She wanted to be like Pelageya, but she could not. She was making something out of herself artificially, she was just a doll.

And then the doll came to life, let’s go, the Suok doll. Somehow miraculously, she became so natural, light, unusually feminine. Maybe she worked on herself, but in fact she just has it. Past Life Television. You have to watch it in order to remember how it was. What we were, at least we tried. Because now everything is not so and not so. Now coronavirus.

You’re out of your mind!

The Mir TV channel aired the favorite film The Dawns Here Are Quiet. I turned it on because I always need it. Moreover, in our difficult time. Yes, this is according to Boris Vasiliev, directed by Stanislav Rostotsky. Both are front-line soldiers.

Still from the film.

Bath scene. Where is she? Literally two seconds and there is nothing. What happened? How could they do this?

Who are these people, let them stand and tell. They must have been so scared of being naked. Maybe you’ve never seen it? Or vice versa: they look on the sly and not that, but here for the sake of the purity of the genre they cut it out. Who gave you the right, hypocrites?

This film is a masterpiece. About girls, girls, women in the war. Very young and very beautiful. These girls and death are incompatible things. But it was so, and the front-line soldiers Vasiliev and Rostotsky knew what they were writing about, filming.

Every scene is important there, every one. Or have you idiots decided that the bathing day can be neglected? Stanislav Rostotsky, the greatest Soviet director (“It Was in Penkovo,” “We Will Live Until Monday,” “White Bim Black Ear” …), this scene was simply necessary to emphasize the incompatibility of such beauty, femininity and war. And you, damned censors, do not trust Rostotsky ?! To a man who went through the whole war, seriously wounded … What do you think, is he just like that, for “strawberries”?

What do you call what you have done? You are blasphemers, you ruined the picture. This is the same as some idiot cut the Mona Lisa at the exhibition.

The stupid Soviet censorship, of course, missed this scene, could not help but miss. Because there and then in those committees there were people who remember the war well, who fought themselves. Of course, there were prudes in the USSR too, and party members, as much as you like. And there was no sex, as one woman once said on a teleconference with Posner. But he was!

What are we talking about? The current officials from television want to consider themselves holier than the Pope, holier than the Soviet “no-z-z-zya”. Somehow they even cut out the good Russian word “horseradish” from Ryazanov’s Garage. Then they put in, realized that they looked like fools.

Therefore, I ask, just like in another Ryazanov comedy: return the picture to its place! Leave everything as it was and never touch with your dirty paws again. After all, Victory Day is coming, the 75th anniversary. Maybe the parade will no longer be, and the celebrations as planned, and the “Immortal Regiment” … But films about the war will be shown for sure. The very films that are impossible to forget, that we are waiting for.